So, I decided to pull-out an old joke from my file yesterday.  The victims of this ‘timeless’ joke were my coworkers.  I say victims because the joke, admittedly, really isn’t that funny and I only revived it out of the sheer annoyance value it has.

Now, you should realize that yesterday was New Year’s Eve, and the annoying joke should be clear:

“Well, it is time for me to go home.  I hope you all have a good New Year’s Eve and (wait for it, wait for it) I’ll see you next year!”

<Pause for hysterical laughter and/or grimacing>

I have only used this joke 18 or so times, but this joke can only be used legitimately once per year.  Believe me—trying to use it any other time of the year just doesn’t work so well.

I only use this joke now to secretly mock all those who still use this joke…and get a kick out of it.

This joke first emerged onto the scene in junior high, which should tell you something about the humor related to this comedic bit of splendor.  I don’t remember much about my own reaction, but I can imagine the kind of reaction that one would want from this joke:

<Keep in mind this joke emerged in junior high.  Therefore, read the following in a cracking teenage voice whilst texting someone about something…perhaps shopping carts>

Biff: “Hey, Jake, have a Merry Christmas.”

Jake: “Thanks, Biff.  You have a good Christmas as well.”

Biff: “Yeah, and…(wait for it, wait for it)…see you next year!”

Jake: “What?  Wait, Biff, surely you have made some kind of mistake!”

Biff: “No, no mistake, Jake.  I will see you next year!”

Jake: “But, what’s going on, Biff?  Are you sick?”

Biff: “No sir.”

Jake: “Is your mom going to home school you?”

Biff: “Nope.”

Jake: “But, you are coming back after the break, aren’t you?”

Biff: “Oh sure.”

Jake: “Biff, we aren’t taking a whole year off!  You won’t see me in a whole year…it’s only a couple of weeks!

Biff: “I stand by my original statement, Jake.  I will see you next year.”

Jake: “No—NO Biff!  Say it ain’t so!  I am utterly baffled and confused by your statement.  I am left without a way to resolve what appears to be two contradictory statements!  You say you will be back in a few weeks, as I will.  Yet you persist in saying that you will see me in a year.  Wait…Biff, do you know something I do not?  Am I going to get sick?”

Biff: “<snicker, snicker> No!”

Jake: “Then you have had a vision of my death!  Tell me, oh wise Biff, how am I going to die!  Perhaps there is still time to turn the tide of events that has already been set into motion!”

Biff: “<guffaw, guffaw> Wrong again!”

Jake: “Oh, woe is me, I am distraught, for I do not understand what my dear friend Biff means.  How is it that he will return to school with me and yet not see me for another year?  Is there a way to resolve this, oh superior of superiors?  Oh, great and powerful Biff, please reveal the secret of this thing, and I shall not cease to utter your praises from my impure, unworthy lips!”

Biff: “<Snort> Well, you see, after the New Year, it is a new year, right?”

Jake: “Oh, surely it is, most prestigious, excellent and honorable Biff!”

Biff: “Even though it is a few days, it will technically be a new year.  Therefore, by my superior skills of reasoning, I have deduced that I shall see you next year, for a new year, it shall surely be!”

Jake: “Ah, I now see, and the net result is amazingly funny and brilliant!”

And that would be followed by about 3 hours of solid, non-stop laughter.

Why is it that so many think this joke still has mileage?  Is this really a display of superior intelligence?  If I were to rank this joke, it would fall slightly higher than the “why did the chicken cross the road” joke and just below so many knock-knock jokes that I have heard.

I just realized this post doesn’t have a point, so let me make a point now:

Kids, say no to drugs….

And really lame New Year’s jokes.

If we are ever going to make progress in abolishing this tired, old joke, we need to start with the children.  If we can stop it at the junior high level, perhaps we can kill the beast once and for all.

I hereby call on all junior high age youth: stop the madness!  Next year, when you hear this joke before Christmas break, turn in your look of confusion for a look of disgust.  Shake your head.  Plug your ears.  Whistle your favorite song, jump rope, pop a zit—do whatever it takes to stop the joke before it starts!

You see, I have recently been meditating on this subject, and I believe the children are our future.  Teach them well and let them lead the way.  Show them all the…uh…yeah…etc.

So, in closing, let me return to my original point.

I don’t care what anyone says: the illegal purchasing and dealing of llamas is a practice that should be stopped here and now.  Um, there was something in there about junior high as well, which I believe the kids are now calling ‘middle school’.  I don’t know why they call it that, nor why it seems to be so popular.

But we have the right to know why.

Could someone find out and tell me sometime?

That would be nice.

Remember: no black market junior high llamas at middle school.

Wait, what was I talking about again?

Well, whatever it was, I am sure it was important and well worth your time.

See you next year! 

Wait, I should have said that yesterday….  Uh, I’ll probably see you this year…maybe.